


I made the mistake of thinking this couldn't get any weirder

by Tania_me



Category: Samurai Love Ballad: PARTY, 天下統一恋の乱 | Sakura Amidst Chaos | Samurai Love Ballad (Visual Novel)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, friendfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2017-11-04
Packaged: 2019-01-29 10:51:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12629385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tania_me/pseuds/Tania_me
Summary: From a Tumblr prompt: “I made the mistake of thinking ‘this couldn’t get any weirder,’ sorry.”





	I made the mistake of thinking this couldn't get any weirder

“Is ‘Archive of our Own’ a news site?” Yukimura asked, sitting at his computer and squinting at the screen.

“Uh, no, it’s definitely not. Why do you ask?” I replied, leaning over his desk to see what he was looking at.

“Umeko sent me this link saying that she thinks I might be interested,” he said. “It’s not a malware site, right? Saizo would kill me if I got this computer infected.”

The fact that Umeko was reading fanfic during the slow parts at work was absolutely no surprise to me. I made a mental note to ask her what sort of fandoms she was into and whether she had any recommendations when I saw her at lunch. However, the fact that she would send Yukimura a link to a fanfic was a little more strange.

“It’s safe. Is that your name in the URL?” I said, pointing at the screen. That’s strange, I thought. Maybe she sent it because the character had the same name?

“Yeah, that’s why I was wondering if it was a news site,” he said, moving his cursor to the link and clicking.

“No, it’s actually a fanfic site,” I said, moving behind his desk to read over his shoulder, because my neck was getting sore from craning it over the top of his screen.

“’Yukimura tells all’,” I read aloud from the screen. “Summary says ‘the handsome and charismatic leader of the Sanada army has a secret. Set in the Sengoku era of Japan, this steamy tale tells the story of romance and adventure in a time of war! Please send kudos and comment if you like, smiley face.’” I paused for a moment, letting it sink in. “Oh my god, Umeko found real person fiction about you!”

Yukimura’s face was a mask of confusion, his brow crinkling. “Who would write about me?”

“I have no idea, but hang on a second – Saizo absolutely has to see this,” I said, whipping out my phone and shooting off a quick text telling Saizo to get over to Yukimura’s office ASAP.

“H-hey, Saizo doesn’t need to see this,” Yukimura said, reaching out towards my phone which I moved out of his reach, sticking my tongue out at him.

“Of course he does, he’s in it, too,” I said, pointing to the tag that said “Kirigakure Saizo.” “It’s weird that there’s no relationship tag since it says it’s a romantic story, but maybe they left it blank because you have a seeeeeecret romance.”

Yukimura blushed, much to my delight, even though it was a fictional story about a fictional romance with a fictional version of him. “You’re so cute when you blush,” I added as Saizo walked in the door, which made Yukimura’s blush deepen even more.

“What’s so important that I have to see it immediately,” Saizo said, looking bored. He couldn’t fool me, though – if he hadn’t been interested, he just wouldn’t have shown up.

“Someone’s written real person fic about Yukimura and you’re in it too,” I said, practically bouncing in my amusement. “C’mere, we’re going to read it together.”

Saizo’s eyebrows rose a tiny fraction, which for him was akin to Yukimura’s red face in terms of expressiveness, and he moved around to peer over Yukimura’s shoulder.

“All right, Yukimura – scroll down!” I intoned, waving my hand expansively toward the screen.

“’Author’s note’,” Yukimura read, frowning at the screen. “’Oh my god you guys Yukimura is just SO HOT I can’t stand it – three exclamation marks – so I wrote a story. I hope you like it!’ Wh-who wrote this?”

“No way to tell, it’s anonymous,” I replied, pointing at the username which read “sanadaslady”. Continuing where Yukimura left off, I read, “’Lord Yukimura stood under the hot sun, his muscles gleaming with sweat as he used a towel to wipe himself off. Saizo sat watching from a nearby tree, fanning himself idly and admiring the way the light sparkled off Yukimura’s hair’.” I giggled, glancing at Yukimura, whose eyes were wide with surprise.

“You do have shiny hair, little lord,” Saizo drawled, causing Yukimura to blush again. So much fun, I tell you.  
We scrolled through the first chapter, reading past paragraphs of chiseled abs and cut biceps and Saizo and Yukimura making constant note of each other’s muscular bodies and the existence of a young female cook who seemed torn between the two men; a cook who also felt the need to constantly mention the ripping muscles and sharp cheekbones possessed by the two men. By the end of it, my stomach was hurting from laughing so hard, Saizo’s usually expressionless face had a slight crease between his brows as evidence of his disbelief, and Yukimura’s face was itself a sheer comedic sight full of multiple emotions ranging from embarrassment to amusement to a vague existential unease.

“’Authors note – the next chapter gets steamy’,” I said. “Oooh, do you think you’ll finally score with that little cook?”

“Wh-what! No,” Yukimura exclaimed.

“I’m afraid to find out,” Saizo said.

“I’m not!” I replied, grabbing the mouse and clicking “next chapter.”

“’His decision made, Yukimura made his way to Saizo’s chambers after tossing and turning for too many hours to count’,” I read. “Oh my, not the cook after all.”

Yukimura dropped his head to the desk with a moan. “I made the mistake of thinking this couldn’t get any weirder. Sorry,” he said, his voice muffled against the wood.

“’If we do this, little lord, there’s no going back,’” I read. “Oh, weird, the writer knows your nickname for him. ‘I know, Saizo, but I can’t deny my feelings any longer, Yukimura exclaimed, reaching out to pull Saizo’s muscular body against his own chiseled pecs.’” I trailed off, completely unable to contain my hysterical peals of laughter.

“That’s enough now, I think,” Saizo said, reaching over to close the browser window. “Our little lord seems to have had enough.”


End file.
